Managing Our Own Pathological Demand Avoidance

Updated: Feb 10

I am a adult with PDA and I am really struggling as in graudate level education. I have always love learning, I do like my education focus and I have always been been a good studier. But now my PDA frequently rears up and I want to reject theories, teacher's thoughts, etc for no good reason. Just due to stubborn thinking. I am starving for any suggestions for someone who's been in this position...

Hey, I get you. I have been there many times. Our skepticism and avoidance are our strength. It has kept us safe and protected the little shreds of dignity and self-worth we managed to keep.


If your PDA is screaming inside you, it is the carbon monoxide alarm letting you know something is not okay and you do not feel safe right now. It is okay to honour that voice and let it be witnessed. It is telling you something. Maybe it is really bad at communicating with you, but there is a message it is trying to get across.


Maybe the alarm’s battery needs to be changed or maybe there is really a CO leak somewhere. I know it is really hard to keep calm and investigate while it is screaming. And it is okay that we are not calm about it either. It is totally reasonable and understandable if we are freaking out right now.


Our PDA is not looking for outside suggestions or solutions, because it believes we do not belong and none of that outside stuff is authentic. And that is very true! We already have the answer within us. Perhaps that voice is a really quiet whisper or maybe we do not have the emotional muscle to embody that. But don't worry about that for now. You are perfect exactly the way you are, and your PDA is working perfectly exactly the way it is.